Thoughts at 1:00 AM: Writing Keeps Me Alive

I want to cease to exist. And maybe you’ve read this many, many times here. Because when I do, my mind works. It suddenly stitches words together. Into sentences. Into paragraphs. Into stories. Until I finally finish one. Maybe writing has become both my defense and coping mechanism? I’m not sure. But it is theContinue reading “Thoughts at 1:00 AM: Writing Keeps Me Alive”

Thoughts at 1:14 AM: Overthinking and Speaking Up

It’s 1:14 a.m. Same time a few months ago, I was staring blankly at my screen, tears starting to well up. A comment from an editor distressed me. A reason for the statement wasn’t offered, neither a suggestion. For me, it seemed like a straight-up “what the hell is this.” And as an editor myself,Continue reading “Thoughts at 1:14 AM: Overthinking and Speaking Up”

The Twelfth of April 2020

Easter Sunday, yes. But it’s also my mom’s second death anniversary. I still regret that I wasn’t able to bring her to Batanes. She’d always say, “Kapag gumaling ako,” and I firmly believed that she would. She was strong, unlike me. But even strong people pass away. I still blame myself for that one timeContinue reading “The Twelfth of April 2020”

On President Duterte’s First Report After Being Given “Emergency Powers”

Actually, mahilig lang talaga ako mag-SWOT. This is how I “evaluate” events, which I learned during my org days. Best for projects, pero ginagamit ko rin sa maraming bagay. Apparent naman that I am disappointed with how the Duterte government attended to the COVID-19 situation (remember how they said na hindi kailangan ng travel ban,Continue reading “On President Duterte’s First Report After Being Given “Emergency Powers””

A Love Letter in the Time of Self-Isolation

I woke up, feeling unworthy and lost as usual. But then I received a love letter written at four in the morning: Some days, like today, I find myself unable to sleep. Maybe distracted, maybe not distracted enough. I love you. You are always so soft and warm, always so nice to be with. IContinue reading “A Love Letter in the Time of Self-Isolation”