“Unhealthy Competition”

I remember a time when my superior asked me how I improve myself and I told him that I check on my colleague’s work who was performing better to see where my focus should be. However, he told me I should avoid “unhealthy competition” as much as possible.

I was stunned since I did not think I was competing nor was “my method” unhealthy. But as I work now, I am thinking if I am subtly competing every time.

Unlike Amy Santiago, a character from the show Brooklyn 99, I do not directly challenge someone to a battle but rather challenge myself to match an individual’s skill or reach higher in attaining a goal.

It was how I grew up — I was compared with others, belittled to be “pushed” further. My parents used to say, “Others kids your age . . .” or “Could you not imitate the ways of . . .” or something of that effect. (Please do not do this to your children.)

I will end this really short blog made from a random thought bubble too long for a tweet with two questions:

  1. When do you consider “competition” healthy?
  2. How do you “push” a child to aim and dream higher without putting too much pressure on them?

I badly want to know.

4 thoughts on ““Unhealthy Competition”

  1. 1. Siguro kapag ginagawa mo lang inspiration yung iba. Kagaya ng sinabi mo, china-challenge mo yung sarili mo. Kapag dumating yung time na pini-pressure mo na yung sarili mo na mapantayan or mahigitan ang iba, hindi na healthy yun.

    2. Eto hindi ko sure. Yung parents ko kasi, kung anong gusto ko okay lang eh. Hindi ko nga ginusto yung BSMath. Wala lang akong ibang nakitang Math sa pagpipiliian kaya dun ako nag-enrol. Fortunately, sa tulong na rin ng aking mababait na friends at ni Lord, naka-graduate. Wala lang talaga ako sigurong pangarap.

    Hala parang di ko naman nasagot yung tanong mo 🤣

    Eto na lang: before you ‘push’ your child to whatever dream s/he wants, make sure to know them better first. I mean, sanayin mo yung anak mong maging open sayo. Kasi kung mas kilala mo yung anak mo, mas alam mo kung anong gusto n’ya at mas alam mo kung anong makakabuti sa kan’ya.

    Pwede na ata ako mag-anak. Asawa na lang 🤣

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  2. I think competition can be healthy kapag sarili lang. Not really “kalaban” sarili pero yong self-challenges siguro? Tsaka focus on the thing now, rather than the final. Kumbaga, do our best today, the rest will follow.

    Feeling ko dito ako nag-i-improve, sa mga kalokohan at kabaliwang ginagawa ko. Walang may gustong gumawa ako ng isang bagay, walang may gustong gawin ko ito at yan, pero dahil ako na mismo ang gumagawa, at laging ‘bago’ siya sa mga experience ko—nag-go-grow ako. Mga self projects na tinatawag kong passion muna, wala pang pakain. 😂

    While sa parents naman on how to help kids, siguro makakatulong ang reward system. Praises, Key for improvements. Like kung makagawa ng something na wowers ung bata, mamamasyal ang family. O kaya gagawa ng “self project” yong parent-kid. Kapag hindi na kaya ng bata, siguro magpapahinga, have fun, then babalik ulit. Tsaka constant communication siguro? Mas sensitive ito kaysa mag-manage ng mga “tao” pero ito yung isa sa napakaraming ways na feeling kong baka makatulong? :D

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    1. Wow. Continue doing that. Gusto ko rin sana, pero I haven’t mastered the art of not giving a fuck. I hope you’re enjoying what you’re doing.

      Worry ko naman about praises, what if masanay sila? Until they do it for praises and reward systems. Balance is the key, pero ang hirap pa rin. Haha.

      Like

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