Tired but not Sleepy

You just got home after finishing an eleven-hour job that you worked on for twelve hours today (and six hours yesterday). The other day, you slept at six in the morning after studying and making a presentation for work.

You’re tired. But you’re passionate. You’re working on a required skill set, looking for the best time and place where you are most productive and efficient. And you feel proud because you’re trying to prove something to yourself.

That is until someone pulls you down.

Worse, that someone is one of the people closest to you.

Then you reevaluate yourself. You look for your faults instead of strengths. You feel worse. You feel dumb and unskillful and everything opposite of what you’ve thought hours before.

You try to lie on your bed and sleep because you know you need the strength to wake up and work and live the next day.

But then you drown with negative thoughts.

Then you imagine a loved one who passed away. You think of her voice, her face . . . and then you cry and wish she were there beside you to listen to your anxiety and longing and everything else in between.

And instead of sleeping and gaining strength for the next day, you decide to go downstairs, open your laptop, and type out your feelings for reasons you do not know.

What are your thoughts?

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