My works are getting lesser reads each day, and I understand that since I’ve been in a hiatus for quite some time now, not to mention that I’ve been inconsistent on updating my stories. I’ve been busy with my editing job, and commuting for six hours exhausts me, not to mention my existential crisis and other experiences that drained the life out of me. However, when I get an idea and I’m energized with caffeine in front of my laptop and either I’m done with my work earlier than usual or it’s a Sunday with nothing else to do, I begin to type almost immediately, not stopping for a second.
One of my recent works I wrote was “Kaulayaw,” which means “kadaupang-palad” (mate in English). The idea came from the fact that I’ve been busy this year and I haven’t focused with my writing. If writing were human, I thought, he/she would be the most patient lover I would ever have, hence the story.
While I write to make room for my creative juices, comments from my readers lift my spirit and persuade me to write more. One of them said this:
One of my strengths as a writer is I write really close to reality. (However, it is also my weakness. I rarely write from my imagination.) So if I write something, my readers would know that I or someone really close to me experienced something close to the premise of the story. I often compare how I write with how I view the santan flower. Santan flowers are rarely cared about because we see them everywhere almost every day. But somewhere in those bushes, I am thrilled when I find a six-petal santan, making it special amid its ordinariness.
So here, I am thanking my readers for seeing this “special ordinariness,” if I may call it. They’ve been really patient with me, commenting even when I don’t reply, messaging even when me replying is highly unlikely. I can’t reply to each one, and I am lucky that they understand that.
Part of me says to quit writing and just focus on my job. But how can you quit and let go of something you turn to when you feel the world has neglected you?