Hay, Pilipinas

I’m a twenty-something millennial. Like most people my age, I am still confused with what I really want to do. Yes, I am a bit fucked up; I have anxiety and existential crisis, and I often rattle on my philosophies and beliefs. You will see me talk about hugots, puppies, and romantic love, a mixture of everything, really.

But amid my personal issues, I know I love my country.

Today 119 lawmakers voted in favor of the Php 1,000 budget for the Commission on Human Rights, along with two other agencies (National Commission on Indigenous Peoples and Energy Regulatory Commission).

I am beyond devastated.

Today I cried in front of my computer. It might sound “OA,” but I did. The last time I did was when Marcos’s burial in the Libingan ng mga Bayani was announced hours before the event.

And just like that moment, I also feel betrayed.

Today I told someone that if I were killed, the suspect, no matter who he or she is—a police officer, a drug addict, or anyone—deserves due process. Even those who plan to circumvent it, need it. After all, we are humans—humans with the right to due process as judged by our own judicial system. Sadly, we live in a time where hatred comes in knives and guns, killing criminals and innocents alike, and then calls itself justice.

I am angry. I am angry that 119 people did not think of the Filipino people while casting their votes in crucial times like this—where our president ordered the police not to share files with CHR and where innocent people, including children, are being killed and labeled as nanlaban. There is no questioning; it was for their own good. Do they want to abolish CHR by restricting its budget? For what?

Alvarez said, “Bakit ka kumuha ng budget sa gobyerno, eh hindi mo ginagawa yung (trabaho mo)?” Now tell me, what can they do with Php 1,000? Or do you not want them to do their job to “effectively” implement your war on drugs?

We call this bullshit because we care for our country. I feel so disheartened, but I will continue to love and fight for my country by writing how greedy authorities keep on raping our beloved Philippines, how our legislators need to think for the country and not for themselves, and how crucial it is to love our country in these dark times.

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