Have you ever felt guilt when you tell someone you feel alone then they reply, “but you have a lot friends!” or “but you’re so successful!” then end with, “why would you be?”
Then you smile and pretend they’re right but deep inside you just want to go back to your room and remind yourself not to express your feelings to anyone ever again?
And all of a sudden, you feel like being pulled to a black hole while light is slowly diminishing but there seems to be another element that stops you from being sucked up?
Then you’re stuck?
Like you wanted to be everything but you are so anxious and you feel like you are nothing so you stop to be anything?
Like a tornado twisting and throwing objects around you and you can do nothing but to stare at the chaos because it won’t let you move from its eye?
Images of silhouettes appear in your head. They have screeching voices that beg freedom. They get louder, and louder, and louder.
A pandemonium inside your head breaks out.
You contain it.
Until the black hole swallows you. And you’re okay with it.