Ulysses is a character in my online novel, Gakuwesaribigin. My readers would remember him as a character who loved a girl named Anna despite her past and reckless mistakes.
I usually encounter comments like, “I wish there were a real Ulysses.” Lucky for me that I know one of that kind. There will be one in a million who would embrace a woman despite her miserable past, and one in a billion who would leave their high-ranking jobs to take care of their first born.
This Ulysses was the father of my beloved. I have known him for only four years, but these four years made me understand why I am treated well by my partner.
But last October 17, this world lost him.
Though I have been filling my mind with thoughts of death every day, it was different the first time I saw life being taken away from the body.
That morning, I could not push myself to tell my partner to be strong since I could not even calm myself. All I could do was embrace him, tell him how excited I was for time to pass so he would be okay; how grateful I was to meet his father; and how scared I was to lose him and the people I love that way.
Because of all the things that happened, I realized two things.
One is that you won’t have time to mourn for the death of a loved one like be alone or embrace people who are as sad as you. You have to sign papers here and there, plan for the funeral ceremony right away (even when you do not wish to) and search for other things which were left by this person. Why is living and dying on earth difficult?
My partner and I talked about who’s going to go first, and we agreed that it’s ideal to die at the same time. We conversed about multiverses, physics and afterlife.
The second realization came from him.
“In what direction does time move?” He asked. He told us that he asked this to his students in one of his physics classes.
Analyzing the situation, I thought that the most appropriate answer was forward, but he shook his head.
“We always thought that time moves forward, but no. Time does not move. Time, in fact, is scalar. We are the ones who can move forward. Therefore, it is our choice to move forward through time.”
I will forever remember those words—words appropriate for all painful situations.
The world may have lost a Ulysses, but I am sure that he was able to raise another. With that, I know he will be able to rest in peace.
We will surely miss him though.