Where Are You

“You are making this hard for me. You are not helping.”

Those words hurt like hell.

I wrote a note where it said, “he does not love you anymore” so when I open my phone, I would remember those words.

I changed your name to “HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU” so whenever I would try to text you,I would be reminded.

I created a wall paper where it said, “He does not love you” so I would stop remembering you.

At 10:05 PM, the pride melted.

Everything was still there, but I didn’t care. I shrugged all of it away and sent messages to the people who would know how you were.

But…

Not even a letter was seen.

Now, I do not even know if I am worried or depressed or mad. I just want to know where are you, and are you okay…

Sigh.

I should have not done that. Maybe, I should not have eaten my pride. This paranoia is worse than my fear of The Conjuring, yet it made me realize how far I could go for you.

What if you don’t love me anymore?

Do you love somebody else?

Did you die? God, please let me die now. I don’t want to know.

What if you need me? But I sent you load to text me, why could you not tell me?

I miss you. If you do not love me, I would try my best to accept. But please let me know you are okay…

As I was realizing these, I remembered how every relationship, either love or friendship, ends at the year when we are almost at the second of it…

As I was imagining things that tell me I’m gonna lose you, tears fall.

They say, banana decreases depression. If I knew I would cry this hard tonight, I should have bought a sack of it.

My heart. It pains me a lot.

2 thoughts on “Where Are You

  1. aww. it sighs me alot. hehe. well, that’s what life is. as far as i know, leaving without pain is not leaving… just like when we see our heart beat im the monitor (don’t know what to called it exactly).. when it turns to straight one, you will be considered as ‘dead’.. but when it is continually going ‘up and down’ obviously you’re still alive,., life without ups and downs is ‘dead’…

    Like

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