Missed Opportunities

I was really nervous and excited for the supposed-to-be today’s event, a reason why I had prepared so much for this.  Days before, I already searched in Google for directions. I searched for Paseo de Roxas and found out it was near Philam (and later on, I found out I was entirely wrong.)

I woke up at 5AM and arrived there at 7AM. According to one of my friends who wanted to be a part of their team too, it was just a 20-minute walk. The buildings had 6k+ and 7K+ numbers, which were far from a building with a number starting at one. Thanks for the RA training I experienced in college, I knew I was in the wrong place.  So I asked several strangers and every guard I could see where the Asian tower was, but surprisingly, no one knew.

It was already 7:20, and I was panicking already. I texted my boyfriend, his sister, and two of my closest friends to help me. Why, of course, none of them were awake. At around 8AM, one of them replied. I asked her what the address was just to know if I wrote it right, and she told me the exact same address I had in my organizer.

Then where was I?

I didn’t know! I had not yet eaten breakfast yet, and I was already ten minutes late in my appointment. I followed what she told me, and asked several guards again but no one still knew. Since I was feeling bad already due to hunger, stress and weariness that I thought I would faint, I decided to eat breakfast first in Jollibee just to fill my stomach. I ate as fast as I could so I could start walking again. The funny part (or was it), the TV inside the fastfood was showing advertisement and interview tips. What an exact moment to relinquish when I saw: Be there 15 minutes before the interview etc.

I looked at the time and realized I was already walking for an hour already and worse was, I was already a half and an hour late for my interview. I texted the team if I could be transferred to the afternoon session. No one replied so I thought that the afternoon session was already full.

I gave an ultimatum to myself that if at 10:00 and I did not yet find the place AND they did not reply yet, I would go home. Aside from I was already tired and didn’t want the panel to see how haggard I was, it was very unprofessional to come two hours after the time allotted for me. My other friend texted me some landmarks so I continued to walk. However, 10:00 came so I raised my white flag.

Realizations?

First. I realized how stupid I was for not even searching their name in Google maps. Really, it was frustrating. If only I typed the name, not the street–ugh. If only.

Second. They say that if you wanted something badly, then grab it and do not let go. Yes, I wanted it. Imagine, I was this close to my dream to be a part of an advocacy to improve the education of my country! I searched for the directions ahead of time, woke up early, practiced for my demonstration before I went, but still something went wrong. Maybe He has other plans? Nah, I dislike saying it. But… does it really go that way?

And here I am, reflecting on what happened. I hate myself for being so stupid, but I know it’s not the time to think immaturely. I should take this as a lesson, and continue life. And maybe, I need a hug.

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