She could not guess you anymore. But one thing’s for sure, she does not want to go back, and she will never will.
You should have thought of your words before throwing them to her. Do you think asking her to go back would change you? You’ve been through this a lot of times, haven’t you? The only difference was, she still had the “respect” you wanted from her. Sorry, she has come to her limits.
What would she show off. You have said that to her a lot of times, and assumed infinite times that she does not have something to be proud of. She grew up to be so afraid of you, but now I could say that she hates you more than anyone else. You made her weak by telling her she has nothing to show off, that she could not stand on her own; that when she finishes her studies, she couldn’t go anywhere. You made her think she was ugly by pointing the scars on her legs like it defined her whole personality. You compared her to other people with the same age, told her that some of them were already working, and she’d be there sleeping on her bed etc.
You never appreciated what she did, scrutinized every good deed. No, she did nothing good for you, didn’t she? She never received even the slightest bit of appreciation. Doing chores at home would be the measure of respect, and the awards measured their intelligence. You assumed that she was perfect, and when she did not meet your standards, you get mad and then you compare her to all different stuff. Good thing she learned math, and disproved you by stating counter examples–but you would insist your point, like she was wrong and was NEVER right. She wouldn’t find other parents, she had no choice but to put your names onto her resume as her parents for the family background part. It’s like a hit to her face. You’re telling her she should go find a place to live in? Maybe she should have told you to find another second child.
Apologizing was never your hobby. You insisted your points, and never considered hers. You always had rebuttals–what’s wrong with asking an apology from you? You threw plates, and even boxes to her, and she never received even the slightest awe from you. You even pushed her until she almost dropped, didn’t care even blood was flowing down her arm. And when she was packing, you didn’t stop her. Hence, you pointed things that she should not get because you bought them. Thank you, sarcastically, for pointing that you bought them from your money… They were never hers.
And you call yourselves parents?
She knows a mother who would wake up 3:30 am for her son, and never complained about it. She knows a father who would kiss his wife and his son before going to work (not to mention that he never asked his son to kiss him back). She knows parents who would apologize when they had done wrong, who would never scare their children that they’d stop schooling if they’d not follow their orders, who would go out on a Sunday and drop off everything to bond with the family. It’s not as if she tells you to do these, but being a parent for you was a JOB–it was never your passion.
Respect is earned, not given–the cliche says so.
And now you are apologizing, just to let her go back? You should have thought of that when she was packing her things up. But no, you let blood drip on her arms, you let her pack her things, you let her go out. And now, you want her to go back? Then there goes the cycle again.
She appreciates the time and effort you put so she could finish her studies, and made her eat thrice a day. Most especially, thank you for the years that you made her suffer your arrogance and pride; She already knows the DON’Ts of being a parent.